Ladies to Lunch

If you think that some sort of an ailment
Has just suddenly struck at your spouse;
If her efforts permit no curtailment
When it comes to her grooming the house;
 If she passes you by in a hurry
As though something bad dealt her a punch,
Let me say there's no reason to worry.
She's just having the ladies to lunch.

If the silver is out of seclusion,
And it's rubbed to a shimmering shine;
If the kitchen is fraught with confusion,
And there's no place to pause or recline;
If you feel you've been turned out of clover
While she cries 'cause the crunchies won't crunch;
These are the hurdles you'll have to get over,
For she's having the ladies to lunch.

If routine has been set all asunder,
But the fragrance of food is a treat
Till the wife of your life starts to wonder
If you'll go to a restaurant to eat;
If you haven't determined the matter,
You'll be right if you cherish the hunch
That for dinner you'll find on your platter
What the ladies bequeath from lunch.

 ~ Margaret Rorke