Dog Wanted

I don't want a dog that is wee and effeminate,
Fluffy and peevish and coyly discriminate;
Yapping his wants in querulous tone,
preferring a cake to a good honest bone.
I don't want a beast that is simply enormous,
Making me feel as obscure as a dormouse
Whenever he hurtles with jubilant paws
On my shoulders and rips with his powerful claws
My sturdiest frocks; the kind of a mammal
That fits in a parlor as well as a camel,
That makes the floor shake underfoot when he treads,
And bumps into tables and bounds over beds.
The sort of pet that I have in mind
Is a dog of the portable, washable kind;
Not huge and unwieldy, not frilly and silly,
Not sleek and not fuzzy, not fawning, not chilly -
A merry, straightforward, affectionate creature
Who likes me as a playmate, respects me as teacher,
And thumps with his tail when he sees me come near
As gladly as if I'd been gone for a year;
Whose eyes, when I praise him, grow warm with elation;
Whose tail droops in shame at my disapprobation;
No pedigreed plaything to win me a cup -
Just a portable, washable, lovable pup!

~ Margaret Mackprang Mackay