“Often men who have been emotionally
neglected and abused as children by dominating
mothers bond with assertive women, only to
have their childhood feelings of being engulfed surface.
While they could not 'smash their mommy' and
still receive love, they find that they can engage
in intimate violence with partners who respond
to their acting out by trying harder to connect
with them emotionally, hoping that the love
offered in the present will heal the wounds of the past.
If only one party in the relationship is working to create love,
to create the space of emotional connection,
the dominator model remains in place
and the relationship just becomes a
site for continuous power struggle.”
~ Bell Hooks
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