An Honorable Human Relationship

“An honorable human relationship – 

that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word "love" – 

is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, 

a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.

It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.

It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity.

It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.”

~ Adrienne Rich, On Lies, Secrets, and Silence. Selected Prose 1966-1978

This Emotion

“This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?"

"I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?"

"Yes," she said.

"That's influenza," said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours.”

~ Orson Scott Card, Children of the Mind

I Think What I Want

“I think what I want is for someone to know me. 

Really know me. 

Know me better than anyone else and maybe even me. 

Isn’t that why we commit to another? 

It’s not for sex. 

If it were for sex, we wouldn’t marry one person. 

We’d just keep finding new partners. 

We commit for many reasons, 

I know, but the more I think about it, 

the more I think long-term relationships are for getting to know someone. 

I want someone to know me, really know me, 

almost like that person could get into my head. 

What would that feel like? 

To have access, to know what it’s like in someone else’s head. 

To rely on someone else, have him rely on you. 

That’s not a biological connection like the one between parents and children. 

This kind of relationship would be chosen. 

It would be something cooler, 

harder to achieve than one built on biology and shared genetics. 

I think that’s it. 

Maybe that’s how we know when a relationship is real. 

When someone else previously unconnected to us 

knows us in a way we never thought or believed possible.”

~ Iain Reid, I'm Thinking of Ending Things

If You Walked Away

“If you walked away 

from a toxic, negative, abusive,

one-sided, dead-end, low vibrational

relationship or friendship — you won.”

~ Lalah Delia