Was It Necessary

“Was it necessary to tell me that you wanted nothing in the world but me?'

The corners of his mouth drooped peevishly.

Oh, my dear, it's rather hard to take quite literally the things a man says 

when he's in love with you.'

Didn't you mean them?'

At the moment.”

~ W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil

I Used To Think

“I used to think -- and given the way we ended up,

maybe I still do -- that all relationships 

need the kind of violent shove that a crush brings,

just to get you started and to push you over the humps.

And then, when the energy from that shove has gone

and you come to something approaching a halt,

you have to look around and see what you've got.

It could be something completely different,

it could be something roughly the same,

but gentler and calmer,

or it could be nothing at all.”

~ Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Every Incident

“Every incident chips away at your limit. 

Every time you choose to stay,

 it makes the next time that much harder to leave.

 Eventually, you lose sight of your limit altogether, 

because you start to think, ‘I’ve lasted five years now. 

What’s five more?”

~ Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us

I Used To Think

“I used to think--and given the way we ended up, maybe I still do -- 

that all relationships need the kind of violent shove that a crush brings, 

just to get you started and to push you over the humps. 

And then, when the energy from that shove has gone

 and you come to something approaching a halt, 

you have to look around and see what you've got. 

It could be something completely different, 

it could be something roughly the same, 

but gentler and calmer, or it could be nothing at all.”

~ Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

An Honorable Human Relationship

“An honorable human relationship – 

that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word "love" – 

is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, 

a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.

It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.

It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity.

It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.”

~ Adrienne Rich, On Lies, Secrets, and Silence. Selected Prose 1966-1978

This Emotion

“This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?"

"I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?"

"Yes," she said.

"That's influenza," said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours.”

~ Orson Scott Card, Children of the Mind

I Think What I Want

“I think what I want is for someone to know me. 

Really know me. 

Know me better than anyone else and maybe even me. 

Isn’t that why we commit to another? 

It’s not for sex. 

If it were for sex, we wouldn’t marry one person. 

We’d just keep finding new partners. 

We commit for many reasons, 

I know, but the more I think about it, 

the more I think long-term relationships are for getting to know someone. 

I want someone to know me, really know me, 

almost like that person could get into my head. 

What would that feel like? 

To have access, to know what it’s like in someone else’s head. 

To rely on someone else, have him rely on you. 

That’s not a biological connection like the one between parents and children. 

This kind of relationship would be chosen. 

It would be something cooler, 

harder to achieve than one built on biology and shared genetics. 

I think that’s it. 

Maybe that’s how we know when a relationship is real. 

When someone else previously unconnected to us 

knows us in a way we never thought or believed possible.”

~ Iain Reid, I'm Thinking of Ending Things

If You Walked Away

“If you walked away 

from a toxic, negative, abusive,

one-sided, dead-end, low vibrational

relationship or friendship — you won.”

~ Lalah Delia

What A Relationship Looks Like

“What a relationship looks like on the outside 

isn't the same as what it's like on the inside. 

You can be more in love with someone in your mind 

than with the person you see every day.”

~ Jean Kwok, Girl in Translation

Life

“Life takes a bit of time and a lot of relationship.”

~ Wm. Paul Young, The Shack

Funny

“Funny how we take it for granted that we know all there is to know about another person, 

just because we see them frequently or because of some strong emotional tie.”

~ Robert Bloch, Psycho

Laughter

“Laughter is more than just a pleasurable activity...

When people laugh together, they tend to talk and touch more 

and to make eye contact more frequently.”

~ Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Better To Put Your Heart On The Line

“Better to put your heart on the line, risk everything, and walk away with nothing 

than play it safe. Love is a lot of things, but “safe” isn’t one of them.”

~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Somewhere Along The Way

 

“Somewhere along the way, we all go a bit mad.

So burn, let go, and dive into the horror,

because maybe it’s the chaos which helps us find where we belong.”

~ Robert M. Drake

If You're Right And I'm Not

“If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. 

So, you better think about that next time you want to be right. ”

~Brian Andreas

It's All About Falling In Love

“It’s all about falling in love with yourself

and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you,

rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit."

~ Eartha Kitt

Relationships Take Up Energy

“Relationships take up energy; 

letting go of them, psychiatrists theorize, entails mental work. 

When you lose someone you were close to, 

you have to reassess your picture of the world and your place in it. 

The more your identity was wrapped up 

with the deceased, the more difficult the loss.”

~ Meghan O'Rourke

Love Doesn't Have To Be

“Love doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day.

 It doesn’t have to be by the time you turn eighteen or thirty-three or fifty-nine.

 It doesn’t have to conform to whatever is usual.

 It doesn’t have to be kismet at once, 

or rhapsody by the third day.

It just has to be. 

In time.

 In place.

 In spirit.

It just has to be.”

~ David Levithan, How They Met, and Other Stories

If I Say

“If I say your voice is an amber waterfall in which I yearn to burn each day,

 if you eat my mouth like a mystical rose with powers of healing and damnation,

If I confess that your body is the only civilization I long to experience… 

would it mean that we are close to knowing something about love?”

~ Aberjhani, Visions of a Skylark Dressed in Black

Why Does Anyone Stay

“Why does anyone stay in an unhappy relationship? 

Because people do. They do it all the time. 

And the truth is, when you’re in it, 

when you’re up to your neck in the everyday part of life with another human being,

sometimes you don’t exactly notice how bad things really are.

 It’s not always as apparent as it would seem. 

Unhappiness, when it involves another person, 

can be like that line from The Sun Also Rises about going bankrupt, 

how it happens two ways: gradually, and then suddenly.”

~ Sarah Dunn

He Thought About This

“He thought about this for a second. 

"True. But if you never really make friends, 

you probably don't have anyone to be your 2 a.m. 

Which would kind of suck. I just looked at him as he stirred his soup, 

carrots spinning in the liquid. "Your what?"

"Two a.m." He swallowed, then said, 

"You know. The person you can call at two a.m. and, 

no matter what, you can count on them. 

Even if they're asleep or it's cold or you need to be bailed out of jail...

they'll come for you. It's, like, the highest level of friendship.”

~ Sarah Dessen, What Happened to Goodbye

Dignity

“Dignity will only happen when you realize 

that having someone in your life doesn’t validate your worth.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

Love One Another

“love one another, 

but make not a bond of love:

let it rather be a moving sea 

between the shores of your souls.

fill each other's cup 

but drink not from one cup.

give one another of your bread 

but eat not from the same loaf

sing and dance together and be joyous 

but let each one of you be alone,

even as the strings of a lute are alone 

though they quiver with the same music.”

~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

The Real Thing That Keeps Men And Women Apart

“The real thing that keeps men and women apart, is fear. 

Women blame men and men blame women, 

but the culprit is fear, women are afraid of one thing, 

men are afraid of a different thing; 

the fears of women have to do with losing 

while the fears of men have to do with not being good enough for something. 

One is loss, the other is insecurity. 

Men are innately more insecure than women 

and women are innately more needful of companionship than men. 

It's good for both men and women to be able to recognize 

and identify these fears not only within themselves, 

but within each other, and then men and women will see 

that they really do need to help each other. 

It's not a game, it's not a competition, 

the two sexes need one another.”

~C. JoyBell C.

He Who Wants A Rose

“He who wants a rose must respect her thorn.”

~ André Gide

I Remember One Desolate Sunday Night

“I remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: 

Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? 

Married to someone who is perpetually distracted 

and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party 

is going on in the next room, 

which but for me he could be attending?”

~Suzanne Finnamore

I'm Not Scared

“I’m not scared of the monsters

hidden underneath my bed.

I’m much more scared of the boys

with messy brown hair, sleepy eyes,

& mouths that only know

how to form half-truths.”

~ Amanda Lovelace, The Princess Saves Herself in This One

We Swallowed The Chaos

“We swallowed the chaos because we knew 

we didn't want to be ordinary.”

~ Robert M Drake

Over Time

“Over time as most people fail the survivor's 

exacting test of trustworthiness, 

she tends to withdraw from relationships. 

The isolation of the survivor 

thus persists even after she is free.”

~ Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: 

The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

We Swallowed The Chaos

“We swallowed the chaos because 

we knew we didn't want to be ordinary.”

~ Robert M. Drake

Your Heart's Strength

“Your heart’s strength is measured by how hard it holds on. 

Your self-worth and faith is measured by finally letting go. 

However, your peace is measured by how long you don’t look back.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

Do Not Hold Your Breath For Anyone

“Do not hold your breath for anyone,

Do not wish your lungs to be still,

It may delay the cracks from spreading,

But eventually they will.

Sometimes to keep yourself together

You must allow yourself to leave,

Even if breaking your own heart

Is what it takes to let you breathe.”

~ Erin Hanson

The Single Greatest Lesson

“The single greatest lesson the garden teaches 

is that our relationship to the planet need not be zero-sum, 

and that as long as the sun still shines 

and people still can plan and plant,

 think and do, we can, if we bother to try, 

find ways to provide for ourselves 

without diminishing the world. ”

~ Michael Pollan, The Omnivore's Dilemma: 

A Natural History of Four Meals

My Dad Had Limitations

“My dad had limitations. 

 What my good-hearted mom always told us. 

He had limitations, but he meant no harm. 

It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.”

~ Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Two Separate Beings

“Two separate beings, in different circumstances, 

face to face in freedom and seeking justification 

of their existence through one another, 

will always live an adventure full of risk and promise.”

~ Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex

They Hurt You

“They hurt you. You hurt 'em back. 

Or maybe it is the other way around. 

Whatever. 

Someday you might find a way to forgive each other. 

But it won't be like it used to 'cause that pain never really goes away.”

~ Brian K. Vaughan, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: No Future for You

You Want To Take Me

“You want to take me to a movie?" I asked.

"Well, not really," he said. 

"What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. 

I thought saying that might scare you off.”

~Sarah Dessen, What Happened to Goodbye

He Doesn't Need To Be Reminded

“He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.”

~ Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: 

The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

We Know So Little

“We know so little about one another.

We embrace a shadow and love a dream.”

~ Hjalmar Söderberg, Doctor Glas

Better Put Your Heart

“Better to put your heart on the line, risk everything, 

and walk away with nothing than play it safe. 

Love is a lot of things, but “safe” isn’t one of them.”

~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Share Too Much

“Share too much and someone can hurt you.”

~ Dorothy Koomson, My Best Friend's Girl

How Would Your Life Be Different

“How would your life be different if…

You approached all relationships 

with authenticity and honesty? 

Let today be the day…

You dedicate yourself to building relationships 

on the solid foundation of truth and authenticity.”

~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

It Can Be Difficult

“It can be difficult to leave a long-term relationship, 

even when our inner wisdom tells us it's time to let go. 

At this point, we can choose to let go 

and endure the intense pain of leaving behind 

the familiar to make way for a new chapter in our life. 

Or we can stay and suffer a low-grade pain

 that slowly eats away at our heart and soul, 

like an emotional cancer. 

Until we wake up, one day and realize, 

we are buried so deep in the dysfunction 

of the relationship that we scarcely remember 

who we were and what we wanted and needed to be.”

~ Jaeda DeWalt

The More You Talk About It

“The more you talk about it, 

rehash it, 

rethink it, 

cross-analyze it, 

debate it,

 respond to it, 

get paranoid about it, 

compete with it, 

complain about it,

 immortalize it, 

cry over it, 

kick it, 

defame it, 

stalk it,

 gossip about it, 

pray over it, 

put it down, 

or dissect its motives,

 it continues to rot in your brain. 

It is dead. 

It is over.

 It is gone. 

It is done. 

It is time to bury it 

because it is smelling up your life 

and no one wants to be near 

your rotted corpse of memories and decaying attitude. 

Be the funeral director of your life 

and bury that thing!”

~ Shannon L. Alder

I Realized I'm In Love

“I realized I’m in love. 

It's always been right in front of me.”

~ Richelle Mead, The Indigo Spell

Share Your Weaknesses

“Share your weaknesses. 

Share your hard moments. 

Share your real side. 

It'll either scare away every fake person in your life

 or it will inspire them 

to finally let go of that mirage called "perfection," 

which will open the doors 

to the most important relationships you'll ever be a part of.”

~ Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

The Best You Can Hope For

“The best you can hope for in a relationship 

is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. 

It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, 

or someone who is capable of significant change; 

that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.”

~ Scott Adams, God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

I Never Hated A Man

“I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

One Minute Of Reconciliation

“One minute of reconciliation is worth 

more than a whole life of friendship!”

~ Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

I Believe The World Is Divided

“I believe the world is divided in three groups: 

givers, takers, and the few that can balance both impulses. 

Giving and loving is a beautiful thing. 

It is the currency of compassion and kindness, 

it is what separates good people from the rest. 

And without it, the world would be a bleak place. 

If you are a giver, it is wise to define your 

boundaries because takers will take what you allow them to; 

all givers must learn to protect that about themselves 

or eventually, there is nothing left to give.”

~ Tiffany Madison